all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
