Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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