lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
