lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
tell me about the fingering
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