Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
