Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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