i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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