I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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