I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize