so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
