you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
