I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
