my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
