hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
