Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
