I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
