I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
