oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
