Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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