I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i dont even know how to be here
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
