They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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