Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize