So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
