So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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