if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
