Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
