well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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