Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
