you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
