i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
