He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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