maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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