i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
