dude i'm inner monologue high
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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