Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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