I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
