At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
