How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Gay?
German.
Pity.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
