He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A bitchslap is in order.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
