East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
