to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My balls are so social today.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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