I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
