We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
