so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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