After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize
