so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I want her autograph on my taint
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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