Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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