My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can feel your judgement through the phone
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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