I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize