she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
