Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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