that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
