Midget sex pt 2 tonight
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
