He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
