Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
whose parrot is this?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
