I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
