So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
