i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
