I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize