It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize