brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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